Restive youths of the Niger Delta: These exclude youths of Cross River, Ondo, Edo, Imo, and Abia States, all equal members of the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC).


Riverine: A meaningless word in standard non-Nigerian (BBC and Queen’s) English, relating to certain God-forsaken development-allergic and desolate mangrove swamps and marshy coastal terrains, typically infested with very beautiful female water spirits of Miss World quality, and their few perpetually drunken male fishermen lovers.


Riversman: Any Nigerian (or non-Nigerian, for that matter) that is brave enough to sleep overnight in Port Harcourt (Garden City), and fanatically believes in the theory of "Unity in Heterogeneity", the indivisibility of federations (especially Nigeria), and the principle of equitable sharing of the dividends of democracy and other goodies from their immediate environment, in the true spirit of Nigerian brotherhood. He is not necessarily a citizen of Rivers State or even of Nigeria. Unlike his counterpart in Bayelsa State, the young "Riversman" is not a restive youth, even though he too lives in the Niger Delta. A "Riversman" can also be a woman as the occasion demands.


Rotten English: The lingua franca of the Niger Delta. Very similar to Cameroonian Broken Anglaise, Sierra Leonean Creole, and Ghanaian Pidgin. It has nothing in common with BBC’s Queens English or VOA’s Special English. For the records, Rotten English was popularised and indeed internationalised by an Ogoni called, called Ken Saro-Wiwa, in a novel called "Soza Boy". Ken Saro-Wiwa was hounded to death firstly by IBB, and finally by Abacha. Subsequent to the judicial murder of Ken Saro-Wiwa and 8 others, Nigeria was expelled from the Commonwealth. The BBC made the announcement of Nigeria’s expulsion from the Commonwealth in perfect Queen’s English.


Royal Fathers: Ethnic super-heroes; some of questionable ancestry, others childless. Regular visitors to "Aso Rock", and dependable allies of all tiers of government in moments of crisis. Masters of condolence visits. Sole administrators of "Installation" ceremonies. Very fluent speakers of Rotten English.